I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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