sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
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He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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