I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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