You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize