Betty ford says i'm here all night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize