glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
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Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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