he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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