Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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