And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize