I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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