I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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