'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize