The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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