I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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