so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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