I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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