The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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