Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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