K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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