She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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