The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize