You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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