Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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