Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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