Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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