wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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