For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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