yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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