I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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