I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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