at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
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Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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