yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize