Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I believe in your delicious
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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