remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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