So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize