my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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