Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize