we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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