He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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