we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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