just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
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Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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