'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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