My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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