I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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