there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize