I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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