Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Green mimosas i think yes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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