GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize