i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize