Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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